“Small, daily, seemingly insignificant improvements lead to stunning transformations when done consistently over time.”
Robin Sharma – success coach
How often do you flake on your intentions for the new year? We’ve all been there. I was definitely no stranger to it. We want to lose weight or get fit. We want to read more books. We want to start a business, a side hustle. We dive into these endeavours with both feet, full of energy and enthusiasm. This year, this year I’m seeing it through. This is too important for me to fail.
A few days in, we hit our first obstacle. The motivation fades rapidly. Activity grinds to a halt. We’re no longer even showing up. The goal is abandoned.. until the next time that spark is ignited and the cycle starts again. Maybe on this same project, maybe not, but undoubtedly some pursuit.
So why does this happen? Why do we bolt out of the gate but never cross the finish line? More importantly, how do we surpass these fleeting, intense bursts and actually see these projects through to completion? As it turns out, there’s no exciting magic pill solution. But first off let’s look at the most common approach; those short-lived bursts of intensity.
Here’s the thing with intensity
We love intensity. It feels great. It feels like quick progress. It seems like the most effective means of getting the important shit done. At least, that was my perspective. But this is where I was fooling myself for most of my life. Intensity is rarely sustainable. Our neurobiology doesn’t allow it. Therefore it barely moves the needle for these larger goals or pursuits spanning days, weeks, months, or more. So why do we gravitate towards this approach if it seldom serves us?
In short, dopamine. Dopamine drives the motivational and reward circuits in the brain. We get excited. We imagine how it will feel to achieve the desired outcome. The mental picture we conceive is a painless and clear path to victory. But that seldom happens. In reality the path is full of unforeseen obstacles. This is life. “What stands in the way becomes the way,” wrote Marcus Aurelius some two-thousand years ago. Yet we allow these obstacles to stifle us. It’s only a matter of time until we lose hope and give up.
So what, then?
So in order to succeed we need a different approach. Something not so temporary. Something that doesn’t crumble at the sign of the first obstacle. The solution is unsexy but it’s effective. To overcome it we simply must show up and do the work. Even if that means just doing the work poorly. This is ok. As long as we show up. That’s the sole focus here. We must consistently show up. The rest will follow. Simple. But by no means easy. So how do we start?
Keep the minimum commitment small
If we’re going to cultivate a habit of showing up every day we need as easy a commitment as possible. The smaller that habit is, the easier it is to integrate into your life. Small enough to not be too intimidating that it’ll end up in the too hard basket in a few days. But large enough to actually get something done. I’ve found a good baseline to be 30 minutes. I almost always do longer as flow discreetly takes over. But this reasonable target quietens the demons trying to keep me from showing up and starting the work.
Remove friction
Try to make it as easy as possible to do the work. Identify any and all obstacles that may deter you from doing the thing. This also includes distractions that pull you away from the task once you’ve started. The elephant in the room is no doubt your phone! Make sure it is out of sight. In fact, get it out of the room.
Want to establish a morning routine? Write down the sequence of practices you wish to incorporate and progress through them every morning until it becomes second nature. Until it becomes routine. Again, leave your phone in the other room.
Want to cultivate a habit of reading everyday? Have that book nearby, by your bedside if that’s what works, and bookmark in place so you can pick up where you left off with no friction whatsoever.
And so on. Pay attention to anything getting in the way of the task and remove it.
Like clockwork
Show up at the same time every day if possible. Make the time sacred. Allow nothing to interfere or interrupt. Research shows that using time as a trigger increases the chances of successfully embedding the habit. The brain expects it. It likes routine. It likes actions stringed together. So if you can stack it onto another routine the habit will form quicker. Speaking of which…
Win the morning, win the day
By making it your first task and satisfying your commitment early in the morning you set yourself up for the rest of the day. The day has already been won. Anything else is a bonus. Your reward is to then ride out the rest of the day on a high. If you can integrate it into your morning routine it will be even more effective. For example, if you currently wake up, make yourself a tea or coffee, then go for a walk, make it the next thing you do as soon as you return. As mentioned before, the brain loves this association so take advantage of the opportunity of a short-cut by habit-stacking.
Measure the gain
It’s hard to deliberately improve something until you measure it. Jerry Seinfeld put his success down to this simply yet extremely effective approach. He would hang a big wall calendar and for everyday he accomplished his task of writing he would put a big red X on that day. After a few days a chain forms. As the chain grows, he said, you’ll like seeing that chain. Your only job is to not break the chain. You are essentially entering a pact with yourself, to keep your word to yourself.
The effect of keeping your word to yourself (or not)
As you keep your word to yourself and that chain starts to grow, you increase your confidence and self-efficacy – your belief in your ability to do that specific thing. If you never break your word to yourself and never back off that goal until you’ve seen it through, your brain becomes conditioned to never quitting.
Alternatively, if you consistently break your word to yourself, your brain starts hunting for an easy way out. Your brain moves into “I quit” mode long before you’ve even gotten into the game.
So either way, it’s the same mechanism in play. Your brain adopts the patterns you set for it and continuing to follow those patterns reinforces them further. So try it. Commit to one thing, one practice you wish to develop into a rock-solid habit. A habit that serves you. Once you’ve cultivated that habit, the next one will come much more easily.
Personal dilemma
So I wrote this post because relatively recently I’ve had to reacquaint myself with these same strategies. After almost a year of consistent, daily action towards my goals, I took my foot off the gas due to personal circumstances which demanded a substantial amount of time and energy. So the choice was either pausing my current commitments to growth or stacking the new on top. I’ve learned that stacking is asking for trouble, namely stress, anxiety, and inevitably burnout. Once I was in a position to focus on my goals again. Foolishly I forgot just how much it takes to build momentum through consistency and develop a solid routine so here I am trying to get that ball rolling again. And what a heavy, stubborn ball it is. So the strategies I’ve explored above are what I have recently used to recapture agency in my life and set it back on the trajectory of my choosing. I’ve recognised that this wrestle with discipline is a lifelong endeavour but it is also one of life’s most rewarding.
So I’ll leave you with three quotes from three legends, all of whom have kept their word to themselves and inspire me to stick with it. I hope they are of value to you too.
Good luck in your own pursuit!
“Long-term consistency trumps short-term intensity”.
Bruce Lee
‘Without commitment, you’ll never start, but more importantly, without consistency, you’ll never finish”.
Denzel Washington
‘Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day’.
Jim Rohn